the post about getting older (or not)

this past week or so, i suddenly noticed faint but definite defiant wrinkles making their way across my forehead. my skin has the nerve to be both wrinkly AND zitty? that's just so mean! i thus have became one of those late twenty somethings who uses nightcream:



i feel like this should be totally beneath me, like i should know better. but i don't. clearly. it's mostly pure vanity. to be fair to me, i'm pretty sure it's not totally beneath the church as an institution. think about it.

the thing that irritates me is that it is not as if i have the wisdom that comes with age. no, in some ways, i'm still a kid. i was an extremely picky eater as a child. my mother literally could not get me to eat. poor thing had to stuff my mouth because i lost weight during some of my well baby checks. my mom discovered the wonder condiment: ketchup. i began to eat. to further complicate matters, i later had a butterfly retainer cemented in my mouth when i was something like three years old. i didn't have an underbite; i didn't have an overbite; i had a sideways bite from sucking my left pointer finger. so for a few months all i ate was campbell's tomato soup, instant grits, and applesauce.

i would no longer describe myself as picky. i have a few random food aversions. i don't like the texture of coconut, and i don't like most olives. other than that, i eat pretty widely, like a good little hipster. i adore sushi, indian food, and thai food. i'll try most anything once, with my crowning glory being stir fried bumblebees (tastes like popcorn). i'm all grown-up.

as a general rule, i recommend luna bars, particularly the nutz (sic) over chocolate and blueberry morning sunrise flavors, despite their silly names. i discovered them when i was vegan and missed the taste of chocolate. besides, they keep forever in my desk at work.

however, i have to amend my previous blanket luna endorsement because the following flavor is indescribably bad:



i literally cannot eat luna's lemonzest bars. i tried. on two different occasions. i spit the offending bar out both times, wrinkling my forehead in consternation over the nastiness that this is.