random thoughts of pregnancy and such

i dreamt i was going to have the baby today (feb 20) a few weeks ago. that same night, i also dreamed that the baby was a water bottle. i couldn't tell if the baby/water bottle was hot or cold (water bottles' emotions are hard to read), but i decided it was hot, so i put it in a water fountain in paris to cool it off. all of that is a way of saying that i'm wary of the predictive properties of my dreams. good thing, as it's now 9 p.m., and no baby.

overall, i'm uncomfortable, though apparently not nearly as uncomfortable as many people are at this point, from the comments i'm getting.

i try hard not to stay attached to the due date, b/c it means basically nothing as a date in and of itself. i've figured out why it's hard not to become attached to it-- everyone asks you every 2.4 seconds when you're due when you're this pregnant. every time i say "march 11," i feel a little "march 11" groove being made in my brain, setting me up for disappointment if i'm late and making me feel like i somewhat panicy about the baby coming somewhat early.

i'm ready to be a giant contradiction on ash wednesday. i wonder if anyone will consider the irony of a very pregnant woman smearing ashes on his/her forehead. well, i'll get a kick out of it, if nothing else.

and that's that.