every once in a while, some kind soul, noticing that my nondescript car is bereft of a denominational marker of any kind, will kindly give me one, assuming, i suppose, that the reason i don't have the episcopal shield on my car is simply because i don't have said sticker.
oh, if only that were the case.
the truth is, i'm currently in the running for world's most irate driver. i would be a professional, were i not trying to maintain my amateur status for the irate driving olympics. the way i yell at other people when i'm driving is unbecoming for anyone who portends to call herself human, let alone someone who is supposedly (or, rather, is) ordained.
it wasn't always this way. i used to live in other lands-- Walkingland (i.e. a town in New England, where everything wasn't all spread out) and, my personal favorite, Subwayland (i.e. major metropolitan area-- oh, to read during my commute again).
but. alas. i now live in a land in which people stare at me when i dare to walk all of three blocks (i wish i were kidding). and i encounter inane drivers daily. this leads to lots of loud yelling, in which i generally question the driver's intelligence while calling him every name in the book (plus a few more which probably aren't in the book and which i invent in my fury), bang on the wheel, and sometimes shoot the bird.
it would be easier to be less irate if people didn't seem to operate under the following driving assumptions, which i refuse to recognize as truths:
inane driver #1: "i want to go; therefore, i will." apparently, when one wants to, say, turn in front of another driver, even if that other driver has that small thing called "right of way," then, again, apparently, one may do so, simply because one feels like it. a multitude of people follow this "rule," but it seems to pair well with a sense of entitlement.
inane driver #2: "i need to swing out in order to turn." *sigh.*
inane driver #3: "i think it's okay to honk at other drivers who have clearly signaled that they are turning, just because they slow me down." *double sigh.*
am i proud of myself?
no, i am not.
is it what i actually do?
yes, it is.
do i know how to stop?
no, not exactly.
am i soliciting advice on how to be less irate?
no, i am not.
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8 comments:
Well, I've always thought denominational logos on cars were silly anyway. I mean, who are you to choose a denomination for your vehicle? Do we not believe in free choice? I think it's very bad karma to stick an Episcopal sticker on a car with strong pentacostal leanings.
I think my car belongs to the Church of Christ.
One cat is Quaker, and the other is Episcopalian.
I love this post.
I take my collar off as soon as I get into the car for very similar reasons...
i love this too. i still have christian bumper stickers. but i don't consider that ironic. i'll cut you off. but god loves you. did you read that article in christian century?
I am actually chortling here.
And I am totally serious when I say that this could springboard into a great article for FS. I don't put stickers on my car for the same reason. Our society is so rabid in its rooting out of hypocrisy, I just want to fly under the radar as a Christian and a minister as much as I can.
Why yes, I can pontificate on ANYTHING, why do you ask?
I'm afraid my big tank of a minivan is [sob!] Southern Baptist. However, our trusty 10-year-old Accord is Presbyterian through and through.
We were tailgated for over a mile on the freeway other day by a little truck. It finally passed us on the right. And yes, the bumper sticker said "Clergy". Asshole.
thanks, y'all. i'd be open to expanding and modifying this for a certain website...
and now that all ya'll mention it, i think my car might be presbyterian. it seems to like order and has a no frills kind of demeanor.
This is so funny. I have confessed to a couple folks at church that the reason I don't bother with the "clergy" sticker is because I'd have to behave myself a little better on the road. ;-)
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