the post about driving

every once in a while, some kind soul, noticing that my nondescript car is bereft of a denominational marker of any kind, will kindly give me one, assuming, i suppose, that the reason i don't have the episcopal shield on my car is simply because i don't have said sticker.

oh, if only that were the case.

the truth is, i'm currently in the running for world's most irate driver. i would be a professional, were i not trying to maintain my amateur status for the irate driving olympics. the way i yell at other people when i'm driving is unbecoming for anyone who portends to call herself human, let alone someone who is supposedly (or, rather, is) ordained.

it wasn't always this way. i used to live in other lands-- Walkingland (i.e. a town in New England, where everything wasn't all spread out) and, my personal favorite, Subwayland (i.e. major metropolitan area-- oh, to read during my commute again).

but. alas. i now live in a land in which people stare at me when i dare to walk all of three blocks (i wish i were kidding). and i encounter inane drivers daily. this leads to lots of loud yelling, in which i generally question the driver's intelligence while calling him every name in the book (plus a few more which probably aren't in the book and which i invent in my fury), bang on the wheel, and sometimes shoot the bird.

it would be easier to be less irate if people didn't seem to operate under the following driving assumptions, which i refuse to recognize as truths:

inane driver #1: "i want to go; therefore, i will." apparently, when one wants to, say, turn in front of another driver, even if that other driver has that small thing called "right of way," then, again, apparently, one may do so, simply because one feels like it. a multitude of people follow this "rule," but it seems to pair well with a sense of entitlement.

inane driver #2: "i need to swing out in order to turn." *sigh.*

inane driver #3: "i think it's okay to honk at other drivers who have clearly signaled that they are turning, just because they slow me down." *double sigh.*

am i proud of myself?
no, i am not.

is it what i actually do?
yes, it is.

do i know how to stop?
no, not exactly.

am i soliciting advice on how to be less irate?
no, i am not.

the first post

i'm guessing that i'm supposed to start off with some sort of introductory "who am i" type of post, but, i'd rather not. so here goes.

it's official: i'm tired of being in transition.

i moved to a new town to a new job in a new state about a year ago. to further complicate matters, i, in some people's eyes, acquired a new ontological status by being ordained. whether you (or i) agree with the whole ontological change at ordination thing (i'm not completely convinced), the fact of the matter is, people somehow put me in a different category. when people find out i'm a priest, there tends to be a person-shaped hole in the wall as they run screaming in terror. well, first, they stand there in confusion, their cognitive dissonance practically palpable as they assess the painted toenails, the shoes (flip-flops or high heels), the jewelry, and, of course, the princess parts. even if they decide to stick around and talk, i'm more of a novel curiosity than an actual human being. that's a hell of a reality to get used to, on top of the whole normal life transition stuff. so, transition? not my favorite.

even so, against all odds, and my propensity to be melodramatic, things have gotten somewhat better. there are some people here i feel like i might be able to call my friends now, and i've got a couple of people i'm grooming to be friends. i've forced some young clergymen to be my friends, whether they like it or not (that was kinda fun).

but here's the catch (why is there always a catch?): today, monday, august 27th, the husband started a new job... for which he has to receive training for six to nine months in a metropolitan area about 1.5 hours away from where we live.

blah.

yeah, thankful for good, interesting job in a region where jobs are not exactly plentiful, yes, i'll see him on the weekends, maybe even some during the week. it's more that i was finally feeling a little settled, like maybe the husband and i had gotten some sort of rhythm down that finally worked for us. but so much for that.

then i got to thinking. will i ever not be in transition? i'll probably be ready for a new job in a few years: transition. we might have children at some point: hello, serious unchangeable transition. if life is just one transition after another, then why do i keep expecting it to settle down? should i just be grateful when things do feel like they're falling into place and just call them what they are: a grace-filled abnormality?

so if i'm tired of being in transition, maybe that's just my too bad, because i'm pretty sure i've been mislabeling "transition;" i should have just been calling it "life."