given one of my below posts, it probably will not surprise anyone that i got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago (though might surprise you to find out that i actually hadn't had a moving violation in over ten years). i called friendly lawyer parishioner guy (note: again, something i really shouldn't be doing) and asked with him, embarrassingly, to "take care of it." he said he was happy to do so (after explaining to me where he had been last sunday--see below--though i didn't ask and quite frankly didn't care).
however.
i was speeding in a school zone (going 40 mph in a 25 mph , to be more exact). in my defense, school had started that week, and i don't normally drive on this street during the posted hours. but i was.
now, i'm not a lawyer (clearly). i did know that if you don't have lots of moving violations, you normally can appear in court on your appointed day and ask for a reduction. i had forgotten that doing so is known as "prayer before judgment," which, given my line of work, intrigued me.
however, since i was speeding in a school zone, i am not allowed a prayer before judgment. i am NOT ALLOWED a PRAYER BEFORE JUDGMENT. me and DUIers forfeit the chance to have a prayer before judgment. what kind of theology is that? apparently, speeding in school zone is the unforgivable sin against the holy ghost to which jesus refers.
i'm being sent to driver purgatory (all of that reformation stuff for naught) aka "driver improvement school" aka bad driver class aka clever way for community college to stay afloat by charging $55 for 8 hours for delinquent people like myself who can't afford to have their insurance go up and do not want to lose their license, either.
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
the post about driving
every once in a while, some kind soul, noticing that my nondescript car is bereft of a denominational marker of any kind, will kindly give me one, assuming, i suppose, that the reason i don't have the episcopal shield on my car is simply because i don't have said sticker.
oh, if only that were the case.
the truth is, i'm currently in the running for world's most irate driver. i would be a professional, were i not trying to maintain my amateur status for the irate driving olympics. the way i yell at other people when i'm driving is unbecoming for anyone who portends to call herself human, let alone someone who is supposedly (or, rather, is) ordained.
it wasn't always this way. i used to live in other lands-- Walkingland (i.e. a town in New England, where everything wasn't all spread out) and, my personal favorite, Subwayland (i.e. major metropolitan area-- oh, to read during my commute again).
but. alas. i now live in a land in which people stare at me when i dare to walk all of three blocks (i wish i were kidding). and i encounter inane drivers daily. this leads to lots of loud yelling, in which i generally question the driver's intelligence while calling him every name in the book (plus a few more which probably aren't in the book and which i invent in my fury), bang on the wheel, and sometimes shoot the bird.
it would be easier to be less irate if people didn't seem to operate under the following driving assumptions, which i refuse to recognize as truths:
inane driver #1: "i want to go; therefore, i will." apparently, when one wants to, say, turn in front of another driver, even if that other driver has that small thing called "right of way," then, again, apparently, one may do so, simply because one feels like it. a multitude of people follow this "rule," but it seems to pair well with a sense of entitlement.
inane driver #2: "i need to swing out in order to turn." *sigh.*
inane driver #3: "i think it's okay to honk at other drivers who have clearly signaled that they are turning, just because they slow me down." *double sigh.*
am i proud of myself?
no, i am not.
is it what i actually do?
yes, it is.
do i know how to stop?
no, not exactly.
am i soliciting advice on how to be less irate?
no, i am not.
oh, if only that were the case.
the truth is, i'm currently in the running for world's most irate driver. i would be a professional, were i not trying to maintain my amateur status for the irate driving olympics. the way i yell at other people when i'm driving is unbecoming for anyone who portends to call herself human, let alone someone who is supposedly (or, rather, is) ordained.
it wasn't always this way. i used to live in other lands-- Walkingland (i.e. a town in New England, where everything wasn't all spread out) and, my personal favorite, Subwayland (i.e. major metropolitan area-- oh, to read during my commute again).
but. alas. i now live in a land in which people stare at me when i dare to walk all of three blocks (i wish i were kidding). and i encounter inane drivers daily. this leads to lots of loud yelling, in which i generally question the driver's intelligence while calling him every name in the book (plus a few more which probably aren't in the book and which i invent in my fury), bang on the wheel, and sometimes shoot the bird.
it would be easier to be less irate if people didn't seem to operate under the following driving assumptions, which i refuse to recognize as truths:
inane driver #1: "i want to go; therefore, i will." apparently, when one wants to, say, turn in front of another driver, even if that other driver has that small thing called "right of way," then, again, apparently, one may do so, simply because one feels like it. a multitude of people follow this "rule," but it seems to pair well with a sense of entitlement.
inane driver #2: "i need to swing out in order to turn." *sigh.*
inane driver #3: "i think it's okay to honk at other drivers who have clearly signaled that they are turning, just because they slow me down." *double sigh.*
am i proud of myself?
no, i am not.
is it what i actually do?
yes, it is.
do i know how to stop?
no, not exactly.
am i soliciting advice on how to be less irate?
no, i am not.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
